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Chapter 35: Nikola Confides to Eddie

Nikola woke up alone, later than usual, from a deep and dreamless sleep. She could tell that the sun was shining outside by the glow visible at the borders of the heavy curtains that covered the only window in the room. The bedroom itself, however, was only dimly lit, and it took her a few minutes to orient herself. When she looked over to the door, she saw the barricade that she had constructed the night before and shivered, despite the warm blankets. She suddenly felt terribly alone, and paranoid. It seemed as if everyone was out to deceive her. 

She could hear Alex moving around in the outside room, and thought she smelled coffee. She wanted a cup, but didn't have the energy to face him. Between Alex, Martha, and her self-proclaimed father, the world outside her bed seemed dangerous and deceitful. She needed desperately to talk, and sort out the events of the past few days, and the only person she could still trust was Eddie, or so she hoped.

Nikola got out of bed and pulled the curtains back from the window, completely illuminating the small room. The light seemed to dispel some of the ghosts, and Nikola felt almost ready to face another day, but not entirely, and certainly not before she spoke to Eddie.

Nikola got back into bed, picked up the phone beside her, and dialed Eddie's number. When it rang three times without an answer, she glanced at the clock. A quarter after ten - long before Eddie's usual wake-up time, but this was an emergency.

"Yeah?" answered Eddie's gruff voice, cutting off the answering machine.

"Hi. Sorry to wake you. It's Nikola."

"Hey, that's okay. Where've you been?"

"Greg and I went up to Grove," Nikola said carefully, aware of the extension in the next room, not to mention his expertise with electronic listening devices. He claimed to have been fired from the case, but what better way to catch her off guard? "I'd really like to talk to you. Could you come over?"

"Are you all right? You sound upset."

"I'm okay, just a little shaken maybe."

"Okay, I'll be right over, as soon as I can throw some clothes on."

"Greg's here."

"Oh, really?"

"It's not what you think. Everything's different. I'll tell you about it when you get here."

"Okay, I'll be right over."

Nikola replaced the receiver and lay back. She knew she should get up, dress, and get out of the bedroom, but the required energy evaded her. Instead, she rolled over, buried herself amongst the pillows and blankets, and hoped that Eddie would get there soon.

Nikola became unaware of the passage of time. She lay there in the gray zone between sleep and wakefulness, watching disjointed images flash through her mind. The images formed no pattern that she could discern, and offered no answers, just repeated the events of the last few days, like an endless looped tape that she couldn't stop.

She was torn out of her trance by a pounding on the door. When she looked over to it, she was reminded once again of the barricade. She hesitated for a moment, irrationally afraid to remove the obstruction, but she could clearly hear Eddie's voice on the other side. Maybe Eddie is in cahoots with Alex... But no, I called her, it's just paranoia, she told herself. She carefully removed the chair and unlocked the door.

"You look awful," Eddie said as soon as she saw her.

"It's been a rough few days. I could use some coffee."

"I think Greg made some. Hold on, I'll be right back."

Eddie returned with two steaming mugs and closed the door behind her. She sat down on the bed beside Nikola and said, "Talk, woman. Tell me everything."

Nikola looked into Eddie's face, reassuring herself of the bond between them. They hadn't been friends long, but during that time, Nikola had felt closer to Eddie than she had ever felt to another woman, and they had shared a great deal. They were, after all, conspirators in the gallery case, and in many ways this was just another mystery, with a lot of pieces that didn't fit together. But this was also her life.

Nikola didn't know where to start. She couldn't remember the last time she had talked to Eddie, or what they had said. So she started at what she considered to be the beginning, when she spotted the Intruder following her. Looking back on it now, knowing what she did about Alex, she realized that the Intruder was not the only one watching her every move.

Eddie didn't comment throughout the whole story. She just sat, listened, nodded, and encouraged Nikola to continue. When it was over, she put her arms around Nikola and embraced her, while Nikola cried into Eddie's shoulder. She wasn't crying for sadness, but rather out of confusion and fear. The parameters of her life had changed completely over the past few days and she was in complete emotional turmoil.

"How do you feel?" Eddie asked once the tears had subsided.

"I don't know, it's just all too much."

"Well, let's take one thing at a time. What about this guy who claims to be your father. Do you believe him?"

"Yes."

"Do you like him?"

"I guess so."

"How does it feel to suddenly have a father?"

"It's weird. He's not at all what I expected. Not even close. He's so... So... Oh, I don't know. He's full of contradictions. On the one hand he lives in this huge house, owns a company, and seems to be really well off. That, I never expected. I mean, why would a person with ample resources, and, one would think, other options, abandon a child? Maybe, if they were completely ruthless and uncaring, perhaps. But he doesn't strike me that way. If anything, he struck me quite the opposite. I got the impression of him as a very caring and gentle man. 
Nikola stopped to remember the scene and bring her father's face to mind before continuing, "He seemed more like a victim than a shrewd businessman. In fact, at times he even seemed a little spooked, as if he were being followed too, but he didn't say anything like that. Oh, I don't know what to think. He never gave me a good explanation for abandoning me, or for anything else. He told me some beautiful stories about my mom, though. But then he had me followed, that's not a very fatherly thing to do, and yet, as we were leaving, he told me he loved me and asked me to come back, just like a real father would. It's just too weird. I don't know how to approach him."

"What does your gut tell you to do?"

"It's confused. I want to trust him, but I can't."

"Are you going to go back?" Eddie crossed her legs and put her mug down, studying Nikola carefully the whole time.

"I really want to. I feel like I still have a lot to learn there. Especially at that secret spot in the woods. I feel like that place was important to me. Like there are memories for me to find there. I feel a connection to the place, a bond with it, like it was a very good place for me. I didn't get any vibes from the house at all. I mean, I recognized it, the outside, and being in that atrium was very weird, but it was all just from the dreams. The other rooms were completely unfamiliar. I can't believe I spent the first seven years of my life there, like he claims."

"What about Greg, I mean, Alex. What do you call him now anyway?"

"I try to call him Alex. It is, after all, his real name, and it kind of serves to remind me not to trust him too much." Nikola played with the bedspread, avoiding the thought.

"But how do you feel about him?"

"It's hard to say. Everything has happened so fast that it's difficult to sort it all out. He looks different to me now. More like a detective."

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked, smiling at the comment.

"I don't know. Rougher, tougher, more devious, less sensitive. I figure it must be me, because I can't imagine that his looks have actually changed. In a way, it makes him more attractive, or at least more exciting, but mostly it just makes me afraid of him."

"What about the trust thing?"

"Well, that's just it. I actually want to stay away from him because of that. He's just making an already confusing situation much worse." Nikola looked up at Eddie. "In fact, I wanted to ask you if I could stay at your place for a few days. He doesn't want me to stay here alone. That's why he crashed on the couch last night."

"Because of the break-in?"

"Yeah, that's what he said. I was kind of glad because I didn't really want to be here alone either after all that's happened, but I was just too burned out last night to even think. Now I just want to get away from all of this."

"You know you're always welcome at my place. Stay as long as you want. I even have an extra key I can give you." Eddie smiled and stood up, as if ready to leave momentarily.

"Thanks. It means a lot to me."

"So what happens next?"

"Well, Alex says he's going to help us. With the gallery stuff, I mean. Also with that other guy who was following me. In fact, he's going to the gallery today to bug Martha's office."

"Really? That's great. So we can finally get to the bottom of it."

"I hope. I guess one of the advantages of him really being a private eye is that he can help us with this. But I wish he was still an art reporter. Everything was so much simpler then. And he wasn't involved - he was just there for me. Now I don't know where he's coming from. He seems like a total stranger."

"I guess in many ways, he really is a stranger. I mean, you didn't really know anything about him, did you? But don't worry, a few days at my place will help you get your perspective back on everything." Eddie leaned on the back of her chair, still smiling.

"I hope so," Nikola said, returning a weak smile. "I'm really looking forward to it. You'd think it was miles away, instead of a few blocks, the way it feels like a sanctuary."

"I think a few blocks is all you need. It won't be this apartment, and that's what's important. So tell me about this bugging." Eddie sat down again and leaned forward.

"Oh, right. Well, he wants to set up listening/taping stuff here because it's close to the gallery." Nikola sat forward as well, glad to be focussing on something concrete.

"When I went to get the coffee, I saw him playing with some equipment in a corner of your studio."

"Yeah, he's been in and out all morning. I left him the key to the apartment last night, and I imagine he's made a copy by now. I didn't really want to, but I couldn't see how to avoid it, especially if I'll be at your place for a while. I think I'm going to change the locks when this is all over, and put some heavy duty locks in. If it's ever over, that is."

"It'll be over eventually. Everything changes with time. It's one of the few things we can count on."

"Oh Eddie, you've made me so much calmer. I feel like I can almost handle it now." Nikola reached out, grabbed Eddie's hand and squeezed it.

"Don't worry, I'll be here whenever you need me. In fact, you'll probably get sick of me before this is all over."

"Don't be silly."

They were interrupted by a pounding on the door, Alex demanded their attention. "I'm going to the gallery now," he shouted through the wood, "and I'd like to show you the equipment."

"I guess we should go out there," Eddie suggested.

"Okay, I'm ready." Nikola threw a long, thin cotton robe over her nightshirt and led the way to the door. When she opened it she found herself face to face with Alex, who was just as handsome, and as frightening, as ever.

He just stared at her for a moment wearing an expression that Nikola couldn't read. Then he got down to business, "I set up the equipment here, on this table, " Alex pointing to a table in the most remote corner of her studio. It was alongside the bedroom wall and completely out of sight from the front door and living room area.
Nikola looked at the arrangement of metal boxes that had invaded her studio space. The only one she could recognize was the reel-to-reel tape recorder on the far left.

"I hope it's not in the way," Alex continued. "I'm going over to Vermes now - I have an appointment to meet Martha in fifteen minutes. You don't have to worry about this, everything's automatic, and, in the future, when I leave I'll try to cover it up. I just wanted to show it to you first so you'd know what it is."

"Okay," Nikola replied weakly, "It's fine with me where it is."

"Are you all right?" Alex asked, looking down into her face.

"I'm fine. Just go." Nikola looked away from Alex and dismissed him with a hand gesture. "I'm going to pack a few things and I'll probably be at Eddie's by the time you get back. I'll leave the number if you need me for anything."

"Sure. No problem," Alex replied, looking back at the equipment. He left the apartment without another word.

"Don't you think you were kind of rude to him?" Eddie asked tentatively. "After all, he is doing all this to help us with the gallery case."

"How the hell do you expect me to react to him?" Nikola fired back. "Almost every word he's said to me until now has been a lie. And I'm not so sure about now either. This whole thing could be some elaborate setup to gain our trust or in some other way further his own ends. And I've got too many of my own problems to give a shit about Marty and the gallery anyway. For all I know he was just some stupid addict with delusions. I have other things on my mind."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Maybe we should just get out of here. Do you want any help packing?"

"No, I'll deal with it. The clothes and stuff are easy, I just don't know what kind of art supplies to take. I don't know if I want to paint, or just lie around and think about all this, but I have a feeling that painting would be good for me."

"Well, don't worry about it too much, we're only going a few blocks away, so if you forget anything you can always come back and get it. Besides, I have art supplies at my place too."

"Canvas is so expensive, though, and your canvasses are all too small."

"Well, excuse me." Eddie rolled her eyes.

"You know what I mean. It's not a judgment, I just like to work bigger."

"Are you planning to drag one of those monsters down to my place?" Eddie asked, pointing to the line of blank and half-finished canvasses.

"No, I guess not," Nikola said pensively. "I don't think I'm ready for a project like that anyway."

"Just bring some watercolor stuff. Or some pastels. They're much better for thinking things out. But if I were you, I'd just be lying around trying to absorb it all for a few days. Maybe even a little self-pity party is in order."

"You're probably right. I'm always pushing myself. Sometimes I think I push too hard and don't give myself enough breathing room. But I can't just stop creating, either - I'd go even crazier than I am now."

"All right, all right, bring whatever you want. Then you can decide what you want to do when you get there." Eddie sat on one of the stools in the studio, where she had a good view of the entire painting area. She watched Nikola move back and forth through the space, sometimes purposely and just as often absentmindedly, as she looked for things to pack.

"So, how are things with you?" Nikola asked as she moved through the room.

"Great. I met a new boy."

"What happened to the last one?"

"He's ancient history. We never really clicked anyway. But this man is different." Eddie's eyes lit up with her enthusiasm. "You know, when I first saw him, Nikola, I couldn't believe it. Even though I had never met him before, I felt like I recognized him. He was sitting in a cafe, at a sidewalk table in the sun, with a beer in his hand, looking at me. And he was the living example of my concept of the ideal man from high school. It was like love at first sight. It's amazing. Yesterday I looked at sketches I made during high school and they were of him - exactly. The long hair, beard, soft understanding eyes..."

Eddie was interrupted by a loud booming voice, caught in the middle of a sentence, "... I'm sure they're here somewhere..." Both women jumped noticeably at the interruption. Eddie grabbed her stool for balance. The voice was overwhelming, full of static and even sharper than usual, but it was unmistakably Martha's. Its advent was followed by a series of clicks and mechanical whirrs, all emanating from Alex's equipment table, "I know I have transparencies of all of her paintings in one of these files. So how is the article coming?"

"Very well thanks," Alex's voice said, "I just need a few pictures to finish it up, and then I expect it to come out fairly soon."

"Oh that's wonderful," Martha replied amidst sounds of file drawers opening and closing, "I'm sure Nikola will be thrilled to hear that."

Perhaps it was the mention of her name, or just the realization of where it was coming from, but Nikola managed to break out of the trance that the voices from Martha's office had put her in. She ran around the studio, frantically gathering a few last things, gestured Eddie to join her and they left. Now that Martha's office had invaded her already too eventful apartment, Nikola needed, more than ever, to depart.

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