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Chapter 16: A Fire and a Sanctuary

Nikola shivered and pulled the covers closer around her. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness as she stared out of the open bedroom door. She could see a small section of her studio, dimly lit by the lights coming in through the window. As she stared, she thought she heard movement in the apartment. Her ears perked up and she listened as closely as possible, remaining completely still, but all the noises she heard were from the apartment downstairs.

 The lights and shadows in the doorway moved constantly, creating an ever changing pattern of color on the floor. Made up mostly of the reds from flashing neon signs, and the yellows of incandescent lights, the pattern shifted and danced, playing on the wooden floor boards and furniture. She found herself mesmerized by its movement. Staring blankly, she was too tired to think coherently, and almost hypnotized by the flow. Before she knew it, sleep overcame her. It was a light and troubled sleep, influenced by the moving lights and warmth of the closely drawn blankets, which worked together to create a raging fire.

She was inside, in a small room. Backed up against a wall, facing the fire. She could see a doorway at the other end of the room, but she couldn't get to it, the fire blocked her way. Before she could really panic, she felt the texture of the wall behind her change. It became very rough and not quite straight. She turned around to discover bark. She found herself leaning against a huge tree. The walls of the small cramped room fell away to become similar trees, forming a forest around her.

The fire continued in front of her, she felt its heat on her face, scorching her cheeks. It approached her feet rapidly, so she slid along the bark to get around the tree. Once she faced away from the fire, she found a path through the forest and ran.

While she ran, she glanced back to check the position of the fire and her progress. The silhouette of a large man appeared against the bright orange backdrop of the raging flames. He was facing her, chasing her, and holding a torch. His long legs carried him faster than Nikola could possibly run, no matter how hard she tried. As he got closer, Nikola could see his face, and discovered that he was not a man at all, but a boy, hardly a teenager, very large for his age. The Bully. He continued to chase her.

She tried to keep running, but couldn't. Her legs were incapacitated, and would not follow her commands. When she finally got them moving, it was as if they were moving through molasses. The boy was catching up fast, waving the torch in her direction, as if to burn her with it. She tried to scream, but nothing came out of her throat. He came closer and closer, her panic grew with his every step. She knew she was in a dream, and struggled to wake up - to get away from him. She finally did, just before he caught up with her.

She awoke in her bedroom, tightly wrapped in her blankets, which had twisted themselves around her thin body. She felt hot and sweaty and struggled to get out of them. She tossed them to the side and lay back, staring at the ceiling. She felt the cool night air caress her naked body and slowly lift the sweat away. She got out of bed, and wandered around the studio side of the apartment, gazing at the light patterns on the floor. She thought back to the dream and wondered, Who is that boy? He's the same boy as in my last dream. How does he fit into my life? Where did the fire come from?

When she fell asleep again, a few hours later, she was back outside, only this time the fire and the boy were gone. She stood on a huge lawn, well manicured, and spotted with large old trees, which kept most of it in shade. On one side, the lawn was broken by a long cobblestone driveway that led up a hill to a house. She could only see a corner of the house, but it appeared to be huge, like a mansion. 

When she stepped away from the trees, she saw the house in entirety. A white house that rose majestically above the lawn, with three stories and a multitude of windows. On her other side the trees got steadily thicker, gently metamorphosing into a forest, which surrounded the house on three sides, embracing it and the lawn. The scene looked peaceful, but Nikola sensed turmoil underneath. She didn't feel safe - she was sure that someone or something was coming for her. She looked around and walked quickly away from the house.

She entered the woods on the left side of the house. She did not have to go far before she found what she hadn't even realized she was looking for: a safe place, a sanctuary. It was invisible from the outside, but Nikola knew exactly where to find it. In the middle of a cluster of trees and bushes, covered with foliage, lay her secret place, her hideaway. It was a large circular clearing, larger than would seem possible from outside the tree cluster. A collection of heavy wrought-iron lawn furniture sat along the edges of the clearing. The black furniture blended in with the trees as if it had grown there as well. Standing there among the trees, she could look up at the sky and out at the forest around her through hidden peep holes, but no one could look in. She felt comfortable here and curled up on a bench, safe at last.

She awoke later in her apartment with a smile on her face. The vivid dream left her feeling safe and comfortable. For the first time, a dream had offered her peace instead of fear. She didn't understand it, but she needed to immortalize it. She jumped up and grabbed her sketch pad and charcoal, eager to get every last detail down before she forgot them.

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